Questionable Taste
by Bloodsong
Summary: A silly little Christmas story. One shot. Makobex's idea of presents leave our intrepid group of antiheroes questioning his motives and relative sanity.


A/N: This one came to me while listening to "Ichibyo no Refrain" one day in the car. Took me a couple months to hammer it out to my liking. Enjoy. Not often I'm satisfied with one shots.

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I do not own Getbackers or any of the songs mentioned. I do have COPIES of all the songs, but I don't think that counts in a disclaimer announcement.

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"Ne, Ban-chan?"

"What is it, Ginji?"

"What do we do?"

"Hang on, I'm thinking."

"Oi, Ginji. You heard what he said. There's one for each of us."

"Well, yeah, but, Shido, would YOU take something that HE gave you? Especially when it looks like THAT?"

"What does it look like?" Madoka asked innocently. Everyone in the café blanched.

"It's…red, Madoka," Hevn answered. "A dark, shiny red."

"Blood red," Kadzuki muttered, staring at the counter.

"Given his profession, should any of us really be surprised?" Emishi piped up. He cringed when seven pairs of eyes glared at him. Juubei reached out and stroked the item in question.

"This is paper."

"Duh, samurai boy," Ban snarled, not about to touch it.

"Oh for gods sake! You all are pathetic!" Himiko screeched. Seven pairs of eyes turned on the slim transporter. "Seriously. What has Akabane ever done to you?"

"He's killed people!" Ginji protested. Everyone else nodded.

"He calls Ginji 'Ginji-kun'," Ban growled. A few knowing looks accompanied the nods.

"He gave Makobex plutonium!" Kadzuki added. More nods.

"That was a job!" Himiko shouted.

"Easy, girl. What, you've got a crush on him or something?" Ban asked, eyeing his former partner knowingly. A solid bonk on the head sent him face first into the counter, making all the red-wrapped items jump. The group went back to eyeing the packages warily. Akabane had walked in twenty minutes ago. To everyone's surprise, he traversed the entire café, putting one package in front of everyone there. All of them, with one noticeable exception, were thin, square and flat, looking suspiciously like jewel cases. Natsumi was the exception, she got a red tube, neatly twisted on both ends like a wrapped candy. Akabane then tipped his hat, wished everyone a Merry Christmas, and left. No one had moved until Ginji started talking, a good ten minutes after the Jackal had walked out. Himiko huffed.

"It's not going to be anything sick. Akabane is too polite for that. Cowards." While the males in the room protested hotly, Himiko tossed back her tea and reached for her package. Everyone else held their breath as she slowly unwrapped it. Sure enough, it was a jewel case. Inside was a plain silver CD with something written on it.

"What does it say, Himiko?" Hevn asked, curiosity finally getting the better of her.

"Um, it says, 'Lady Poison, please wait until everyone else has the courage to open theirs before telling them what is on this CD. Makobex.'"

"Makobex?" Shido said, headband sliding up just a little.

"Yeah. Looks like these are all from Makobex." Himiko turned over the CD and blushed. Ban, seeing that, snickered and ripped open his.

"What the hell!" He shouted, staring at the disk. A tick developed near his forehead. By now there was paper being ripped all over the place. Various shouts of astonishment, disbelief and outrage echoed through the room. Paul and Natsumi were the only quiet ones. They glanced at each other, at Natsumi's present, and back at each other. Natsumi rolled up hers and stashed it under the counter.

"It would seem Makobex has an interesting sense of humor," Paul said, smirking.

"Interesting!" Hevn shrieked, waving her disk in the air. "You call this interesting! Insulting is more like it!"

"Oh, Hevn. It can't be that bad," Madoka protested, running her fingers lightly over her case. Makobex had been kind enough to slip in a small piece of paper with Braille on it, so she knew what hers was. "I think this was sweet."

"Sweet?" Shido choked, looking at his CD as if it might bite him.

"Ne, Ban-chan. I don't get mine." Ginji was turning his over and over. Ban snatched it out of his hands. He looked at it, rolled his eyes and gave it back.

"I'll explain it later. As a matter of fact, I think we should be going. Come on, we can listen to them in the car."

"That's actually a good idea," Kadzuki said, sliding off his barstool. "Emishi, Himiko, why don't you come with us? We can all listen together."

"I'd like that, Kadzuki." Himiko slid off her stool and moved to stand next to Juubei.

"I would also be glad of your company. I think you will all appreciate the knowledge of myself that Makobex has shown with this gift." The foursome followed the GetBackers out the door, calling farewells and "Merry Christmas"s. Shido, Madoka and Mozart weren't far behind. Soon it was just Paul, Natsumi and Hevn. The redhead studied the still-furious blonde.

"All right, Hevn. 'Fess up." Hevn simply huffed.

"No thank you. I think I'll call it a night. Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas, Hevn-chan!" Natsumi called. The mediator waved and disappeared into the night. Paul slipped his present into the stereo behind the counter. _Touch of Gray_ came out. Natsumi giggled.

"It does sound like your relationship with the Get Backers, Master."

"Precisely. Let me see yours again, Natsumi." With a pretty blush, she shook her head.

"Not tonight. I have to get home soon."

"All right. Give me a few moments to lock up and I'll drive you."

"That's very nice of you, Master. Thank you."

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Kadzuki, Emishi, Juubei and Himiko were all ranged around Kadzuki and Juubei's apartment, feeling a little nervous. Sure, Emishi's _Tears of a Clown_ made sense. He was the classic Joker. Himiko's _Like a Prayer_ had triggered a strong blush in the female transporter. She was very glad Ban wasn't around, he would be all over her. Juubei's _Killing Me Softly_ had made Kadzuki sad. Needless to say, putting in Kadzuki's CD was taking a while.

"You don't have to," Juubei said softly, squeezing Kadzuki's shoulder.

"No, I do. It's only fair." Kadzuki gently removed Juubei's hand, took a deep breath, and dropped the disc into the waiting slot. The stereo whirred, began to play. Four jaws hit the floor.

"_Hells Bells_?" Emishi shrieked.

"I think we need to have a talk with Makobex," Juubei growled.

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Shido and Madoka were curled up on the couch, listening to Madoka's present, _I Say a Little Prayer For You_. Shido had to admit, in this case, Makobex had been sweet. The gentle melody and touching lyrics did suit his mate. He wondered if the boy genius had been as kind to the other women. Probably not, judging from Hevn's reaction. When the song ended, the disc changer slid to his. He winced.

"Shido, why would Makobex give you _Hungry Like The Wolf_? Is it because of your abilities?"

"I'm sure that's all it is, Madoka." Shido squeezed her shoulder, letting his cheek rest gently on her head while he plotted his revenge on Makobex.

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Inside a notable Ladybug, carefully parked in an alley, Ginji bobbed his head to his brand new song. Makobex DID understand him after all! While the song wasn't one he knew, the lyrics fit him and Ban perfectly. Nobody else really understood why he stuck with the spiky man. Ginji had a hard time explaining it. So, _It's All for You_ fit. When the stereo was silent, Ginji popped his out.

"Your turn, Ban-chan!" He caroled. Ban grumbled and shoved his CD in roughly. "Ne, Ban-chan! You need to treat your present better."

"Tch." Ginji blinked at the music filling the car, then doubled up laughing.

"It's not funny," Ban griped. Ginji continued to laugh, arms wrapped around his middle and tears streaking down his face. With a growl of annoyance, Ban shut off the radio. Ginji finally calmed down.

"Aw, Ban-chan. Turn it back on."

"No."

"Look, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to laugh. It's just so…you, you know? Makobex read you like a book."

"Tch."

"Come on, don't be mad. Let me hear the rest. Please?" Ginji used the puppy eyes, which Ban couldn't resist. After a few minutes of grumbling, he turned the CD back on. Ginji bounced in his seat, grinning mischievously. Really, what was Ban upset about? _I'll be Watching You_ fit him perfectly!

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If the Get Backers had happened to park in a different alley, they would have heard something curious. And if they had climbed the fire escape to the correct apartment, they would have witnessed something so scandalous, so delicious, so perfect for blackmail they would have eaten free for two years.

For in this particular apartment, someone's ultimate weakness was on display. A pink capris, white baby-doll T-shirt, hair in an off center ponytail, hairbrush as a microphone display.

Yes, Ban and Ginji could have eaten very well off of seeing Hevn bouncing around her apartment singing along to _Barbie Girl_. Provided, of course, they survived the massive nosebleeds.

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What of Akabane, you ask? Surely Makobex wouldn't forget the Jackal! No, no, he hadn't. Akabane proved a difficult study. So many different possibilities, which one to expound on? The others were easy; to tease, to highlight one specific trait or quirk. Akabane, though. One must be careful when baiting a Jackal, after all. In the end, the computer whiz was successful. His gift to the transporter was currently being played on a Discman Akabane had…acquired from a stupid teenager. His smirk grew just a bit as _I Want You_ filled his ears.

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Natsumi flopped down on her bed and grinned up at her ceiling. Her present from Makobex was carefully pinned to the plaster, a full sized poster of a band.

But not just any band.

No, that would have been easy.

Makobex had worked wonders with Photoshop.

Instead of any old rock band, he had put her favorite people on the stage.

Shido on the drums, with just the vest, headband and pants. Ginji on lead guitar, wearing a fitted shirt and thin green vest with his baggy shorts. Kadzuki on backup guitar, hair flying around him, his normal clothes fitting the theme. Akabane on base, fingers caressing the guitar, his tie loosened and his coat unbuttoned. Finally, Ban on vocals, his big white shirt unbuttoned, revealing the tank top underneath. The overall effect was one of sexiness and mischievousness, with a strong hint of danger from Akabane. You simply couldn't have the Jackal in a picture and NOT get that effect. Natsumi was very pleased. She blew a kiss to the lead guitarist and went to bed.

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Finally, Makobex, the genius behind these presents. What did he receive? Well, he and Sakura were in his room, waltzing as best they could given their disparate heights, in time to _Cool Change_. Makobex was smiling. Sakura had good taste in music.

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The Music List:

Shido: 'Hungry Like a Wolf' Duran Duran

Kadzuki: 'Hells Bells' ACDC

Emishi: 'Tears of a Clown' Smokey Robinson

Hevn: 'Barbie Girl' Aqua

Madoka: 'I Say a Little Prayer' Dionne Warwick

Ban: 'Watching You' Sting

Ginji: 'All For You' Sister Hazel

Paul: 'Touch of Gray' Grateful Dead

Himiko: 'Like a Prayer' Madonna

Juubei: 'Killing Me Softly' Roberta Flack

Akabane: 'I Want You' Savage Garden

Makobex/Sakura: 'Cool Change' Little River Band


End file.
